Invisible With People

Client:

I’ve been feeling really… disconnected lately. Like, I go through my days, talk to people, laugh even, but somehow it all feels kind of hollow. I don’t know, I just… I feel like I’m not really here, or maybe like no one really sees me. It’s exhausting, and I don’t even know how to fix it.

Counsellor (Lyn):

Hm, okay. Could you perhaps share with me what has been happening these days

Client:

Yeah… it’s been like this for a few weeks now. Work is… fine, I guess, but it’s all just routine. I get home, scroll through my phone, maybe chat with a friend online, but even then I don’t feel connected. Sometimes I think about calling someone just to talk, but then I feel this… hesitation, like they wouldn’t really understand or care. And at night, when I’m alone, the quiet feels heavier, like all the things I’m not saying are just… sitting there. It’s lonely, and it makes me question if I’m even worth reaching out for.

Counsellor:

Hm, that is a hard place to be in. It does sound like you're feeling disconnected but perhaps there isn't anything to stimulate you? It's true that you can be talking to people, but you don't always feel that connection that makes you want to speak more. What's your thought on that?

Client:

Yeah… I think that’s exactly it. Even when I’m talking to people, I feel like I’m just going through the motions. It’s like everyone’s speaking, but I’m behind a glass or something—I can hear them, I can respond, but it doesn’t really reach me. I want to feel… engaged, I guess. Like someone really gets me. But I don’t know how to get there, or if anyone really could. It makes me feel kind of invisible, even when I’m not alone.

Counsellor:

I can feel the pain in that, invisibility. It does seem like you are trying to put yourself out there by doing the motion of conversing. But nothing in the conversations is really fulfilling you…

Client:

Yeah… that word really hits, invisible. I think that’s exactly it. I’m showing up, I’m replying, I’m asking the polite questions, but it all feels so surface-level. It’s like I’m performing a version of myself that’s acceptable, but not actually me.

And when the conversations don’t go any deeper, I end up feeling even more empty than if I hadn’t spoken at all. Part of me wants to be more open, to say what’s really on my mind, but another part of me is scared that if I do, it’ll be too much or it’ll just fall flat. So I stay where it’s “safe,” even though it doesn’t feel good.

Counsellor:

Hm, I hear you. I'm curious to know - have you noticed a few things you have mentioned just now? You're having the safe conversations that is at you comfort level, but it's not serving or enriching your feeling of connection to others.

Client:

Yeah… I have noticed that, actually. Saying it out loud makes it clearer. I stick to what feels safe because I don’t want to risk rejection or awkwardness, but then I end up feeling unfulfilled anyway. It’s like I’m protecting myself from something that might hurt, but in doing that, I’m also blocking the possibility of something meaningful.

I think part of me worries that if I tried to go deeper and it didn’t land, it would confirm this fear that I don’t really belong or that my inner world isn’t interesting enough to share. So I stay in that middle space—connected enough to not be alone, but distant enough to not feel exposed. And that’s where the invisibility creeps in.

Counsellor:

What a difficult space to be in... one that goes deeper than the surface - the fear of rejection and awkwardness. If you would like, we can talk about this more?

Client:

Yes please.